Valentine’s Day is coming, you best get on it:

Top 10 Gems From the Misfits

The 1980s would be the best of times, the worst of times a pivotal decade of transition between the 1970s free-loving hippies discovering what truly matters most in life: Money is everything, greed is good, nothing is free.

It was during the 1980s that the yesteryear hippy would find their authentic yuppy selves. Apparently, the hippies only wanted “free-love” when they were high and did not have the money to purchase top-shelf poontang. Once they got their youthful fill of drugs and “free love” they would enjoy their right to play hard on their earned yachts, which could only get upgraded by taking the “fair share” from future generations. A “war on drugs” would conveniently begin to fill the increasing for-profit prison systems, a liveable minimum wage would grow into an unreasonable demand, and anyone that dare complain against such systemic greed would be easily shouted down as spilled milk of whining “socialists.”

The eighties would also see the phasing out of the bell-bottom pants and the Burt Reynolds/Ron Jeremy/Magnum P.I. bear-hair man rug chests. The classic handsome fur-man would be overtaken by the pretty headed mulleted chap showing off shaved dude breasts and tummy tums by wearing their far too comfortable cropped, half shirts.

Do not laugh ladies, for the 80s woman was no better.

It was all too common to see the 1980s matrons in active competition to grow their towering hair of Babylons to the sky, kept in place, with so much hairspray that it broke the Ozone layer. Plus, a typical sight from the eighties lady was the pancake of so much makeup, one would often be left to wonder if she was either on her way to a costume party or on her way home from some kind of freakish Crayola gangbang (yeah, that was not a typo, you read it correctly).

Throughout the decadent decade, a wall would fall, significant explosions would occur, and the omen to the 1990s kids would be seen by the 1980s death of a dreamer.

The music of the day was a fine representation of the era metamorphosis. The 1980s saw a vast explosion of music with the invention of something known as MTV.  Video would kill the radio star, with an explosion– a new music revolution was everywhere, to even include the cartoons. The reconstruction began as a “Celebration” as everything was all Kool and The Gang… but by the 1990s, only those to expect the roses were those that also held the guns. The newest generation of youth would learn along the discovery to Nirvana, a harsh lesson of an “I Hate Myself and Wanna Die” reality.

Money Killed the Nihilist Dream

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One of the better known “rock” cartoons remains the 1980s Jem and The Holograms.

Jem and her crew were supposed to be the stars of the show, but let’s be honest, their songs were weak, pretentious, and lame fluffy tunes meant for a mindless group of sameness. With songs such as It Depends on the Mood I’m In, Believe/Don’t Believe, Beat This, Truly Outrageous, and I Believe in Happy Endings, Jem and the Holograms reveal the nature of their soulless rah-rah lyrical blandness.

NOTE: Believe, don’t believe, I too believe in happy endings far more truly outrageous, so J & the H-grams can beat this.

To further solidify how terrible the band is, what kind of group calls itself “the Holograms” when it features blood and guts people? Oh, perhaps the Hologram label is a clever way to say– it is all about Jem, the bandmates do not matter as they are all the same, so who cares? Jem, Jem, Jem, she is the one star, Jem is the gem.

Anyone familiar with the show knows Jem’s “rock” group was anything but. Their songs were pop at best, and hell, the Jem “theme” song featured verses such as:

Jem (Jem is excitement)
Ooh, Jem (Jem is adventure)
Ooh (glamour and glitter, fashion and fame)
Jem (Jem is truly outrageous, truly, truly, truly outrageous)
Whoa, Jem (Jem), the music’s contagious (outrageous)
Jem is my name, no one else is the same
Jem is my name

Jem and the Holograms Theme Song Lyrics

Thankfully, a trio would save the world by refusing to remain silent as they would interrupt and save the theme from Jem’s narcissistic self-glorification by announcing, straight up:

But we’re The Misfits
Our songs are better
We are The Misfits, The Misfits
And we’re gonna get her

Jem and The Holograms Theme Song Video

Unlike the “heroic” self-absorbed, Jem, the Misfits made it clear; they are a group. A collection of outcasts hell-bent on defeating the fake, phony, pretentious, good girl fraudster known as Jem. True to their word, through lyrical honesty and diverse melodies, the Misfits songs are better than Jem’s.

Need a second opinion? Well, here are 6-reasons WHY THE MISFITS WERE THE REAL STARS OF ‘JEM’ 

Unlike the fluffy-lyrics of Jem, the Misfits songs had attitude, real lyrics, and most importantly were honest. The Misfits were the same hard-edged, bad-ass chicks off stage as they were on. Like Michael Bolton on Michael Bolton, that’s how TheDR.World celebrates the entire musical catalog of The Misfits, so, there is no way yours truly can list only 10 great songs. Therefore, TheDR.World will utilize someone else’s list… without further ado:

Top 10 Gems From the Misfits

Honorable mention: I Love A Scandal

10. I Like Your Style

9. I Am a Giant

8. Top of the Charts

7. You Oughta See the View From Here

6. Listen Up

5. Designing Woman

4. We’re Off & Runnin’

3. How Does it Feel?

2. Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!

1. Free & Easy

11 Great Songs That Prove The Misfits Were Better At Girl Power Than Jem (Videos of each song included on the link)

There it is, the list of 10 best songs from the Misfits. Please do not be shy to share your opinions on Jem, the Holograms, the Misfits, and the Top 10 list.

To anyone disappointed the list of Misfits in this writing is not the punk band from Lodi, New Jersey– do not fret, do not fear, TheDR.World is going to hook ya up too. However, the next list will not be just a straight forward top-10 list. Nah, that’d be too easy, too bland, and frankly, some bullshit a Jem-type writer might try to pull on the reader, just like the Misfits over Jem, theDR.World’s writing is better.

Speaking of better, either get to finding something for V-D or learn to BangGood. Enjoy

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" Darrell Roberts : Writing is my passion, whether you agree, disagree, love, or hate the expression of my passion is not important. What is important, is that those that read my words are never bored by doing so.."