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Do You Even Science, Bro?

Do You Even Science, Bro?

An old saying states one should avoid talking about politics and religion. No matter how many reminders of such a statement, way too many are going to ignore the sage advice. Therefore, please consider before engaging in such “friendly” political or religious banter asking:

“What am I trying to achieve by convincing someone else that my views are right?”

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If one does not have a satisfactory answer, then, why bother to engage others within possible inflammatory situations– without any good reason to do so? Furthermore, a battle of uninformed opinions is a waste of time for there are no viable solutions. Even agreements of ignorant views within a group may seem acceptable or as “right” but still remain an untruth.

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If one wishes to have a sincere dialogue, then, do so.   However, if one only wants to prove someone else’s position or ideology is weak or inferior– you’re likely an asshole, so stop, do not do that– it’s not nice.   Instead of engaging in an empty debate that goes nowhere or turns into a low-level philosophical brawl, how about refocus and try something new?   For example, consider the following hypothetical conversation between a creationist and an evolutionist.  

First, realize the usual creation vs. evolution argument is both unreasonable and unnecessary. These concepts have nothing to do with each other; they are two different things. So, instead of engaging in an irrational conversation destined for nowhere, refocus the dialogue.

Step two, the easy step, understand that effective communication requires truth, fact, and a coherent concentration to express an idea or information. As such, in our creation/evolution case, the evolutionist may wish to describe real, provable details about environmental evolution. Consider the following as a few of the many diverse intrigues found within the animal kingdom.

***A frozen Alaskan Tree frog.

Did you know there some frogs, that freeze, their bodies shut down as they enter into a suspended animation state? Once their environment warms, they will eventually thaw and come “back” to life. This ability is not common among most frog species; it is a derived function of necessity. The frog species that live in colder climates have gained this genetic superpower by evolving to increase their survivability. Freezing frogs are just one fascinating example of environmental evolution. In the name of fun, how about another tale, a little more frightening, than that of the cute frozen frogs?

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Imagine a land where every 3 feet one would encounter the deadliest of vipers with venom so toxic– its bite, is not only lethal, it melts the human skin.

Such a frightening reality does exist, just off the coast of Brazil is a place known as “Snake Island.” Estimates claim that for every one square meter (that’s a little over 10 square feet which is roughly equal to a three by three-foot square) there sits at least one of the world’s most deadliest snakes, the Golden Lancehead viper. To those wondering, how the snakes came to rule this island, well, the answer is through a simple stroke of shifting luck.

Snake Island also is known by the given name of Queimada Grande is believed a result of rising sea levels which cut off the area to the Brazilian mainland. This disconnect created a problem for the newly island-dweller viper population. Since there was no substantial land prey, the snakes had to, and still must, rely upon the native bird population to sustain their livelihood. To meet the new environmental challenges, the Golden Lancehead would have to adapt too.

Over time, the snake’s venom would become five times stronger than it’s closest genetic relatives. Unlike many vipers, the Golden Lancehead does not inject, release, and then track its dying prey. Instead, this snake injects and does not free the victim. Therefore the snakes’ powerful toxins are essential to rapidly break down the tissue to allow digestion of the meal-to-be. For this reason is why the snake’s venom had to intensify far beyond its closest, non-island, relatives. However, there are still a lot of scientific-mysteries surrounding the Golden Lancehead of Snake Island.

Snake Island is off-limits to most humans, only open to a few select scientific specialists. As for why the island is off-limits, some may claim it due to the deadliness of the Golden Lancehead. But, that’s only a half-truth, at best, for the human remains the most deadly creature on the planet. The snake is deadly to humans, but humans are a bigger threat to the snakes. Remember the island’s given name is Quiemada Grande?

Quiemada means “to burn” in Portugese.

The island’s original name is a result of humans trying to burn the snakes into extinction. It was once guessed there lived nearly half a million Lancehead on Snake Island, but most recent estimates, believe the population ranges from 2,000-4,000. The Golden Lancehead is only found on this small island, as a result, the Brazilian government maintains strong control over visitor access to save the critically endangered snake species, not to save the overabundance of humanity. A few scientists are allowed on the island as they seek to answer numerous mysteries about the vipers.

Some of these questions include the snakes struggle to maintain their thin numbers due to fierce competition for food, along with problems associated with massive inbreeding. With such a small population, the inbreeding becomes so rampant that it leads to a high number of hermaphroditic offspring. Unfortunately, the dual-sex Golden Lancehead are usually sterile. Just like years past, the rare species must continue to adapt and overcome evolving environmental challenges if its lineage is to survive.

In summation, there is no point in arguing with others in a non-constructive manner, right? Instead of doing the normal verbal kung fu that goes nowhere, try sharing useful or interesting information with your fellow humanity. Oh, and remember– please try not to be a Dick Nixon, yo’.

*** Not to put in any undue fear into the heart of the fragile but here is to science never discovering one those severely inbred rare snakes have stumbled upon a bird and the pair accidentally made sweet love. Then, somehow the magical interspecies entanglement led to the creation of a super poisonous flying inbred snake-bird that is desperately in need of food. Just kidding, that is probably not possible.

Don’t forget, since, I was able to think of the possibility, it would stand to reason some creepy scientist dude could very well be working on making that crossbreed happen… right now. As noted earlier, humans are the most dangerous creatures on the planet.

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*** One final note, a warning– the picture above of the Alaskan Tree frog, is certainly cute, but it appears to be phony. There is no Alaskan tree frog, that is not a real thing. According to Snopes:

The viral photograph displayed above does not show an Alaskan tree frog (since no such animal exists), nor does it show a wood frog. This widely-circulated image appears to be simply a garden ornament that has been covered with frost. 

Fact Check: Can These Frogs Survive After Freezing in Winter

Sorry, my friends. There are species of frogs that do freeze and unthaw back to life, that is true. The reason for my trickery to include a phony frozen frog species that does not exist is to serve as a reminder to check and question everything you read, see, or hear as a means of verification. In a disinformation world, one must never grow complacent.

‘Tis the season to stay inside and get your McLovin’ on yo’– check it out:

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