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Suck Me Beautiful: Vivacious Narcissism

The Right Tattoo design; Straight outta OZ

Welcome to Vivacious Narcissism Explained #1.

Perhaps, you might recall stumbling upon a piece of “art” and pondered, “What is the “artist trying to say with this ____ (great, crappy, weird, insert any applicable word ya like etc.)?”

In celebration of art, this writing will focus on offering short explanations for my own creations.   Make no mistake, yours truly considers myself nothing more than a shoddy hack, not a masterful Da Vinci-to-be.  However, there is a two-fold purpose behind my “art.”  First, it allows for personal expression that alleviates stress, tension, and inner thoughts in a safe, constructive manner.   Secondly, it serves as a display of working through one’s fear of rejection, scorn, and ridicule.

Maybe through personal demonstration, a hack, like yours truly, can possibly inspire a modern-era Michelangelo,  Picasso, Rembrandt, Monet, Manet, Van Gogh, or any of the long list of legendary productive badasses.

The first work to be examined is titled:

Suck Me Beautiful

Suck me Beautiful

For an enhanced experience, the reader should take a few moments to study the picture and make mental notes or jot down what the imagery “says” to you, the individual.



The story of Suck Me Beautiful

The meaning of this unusual treasure from my view is about the sexualization and common practice of “Worshipping manhood!”

Almost everything included within the work highlights how a dominant male world surrounds & waits to pounce on “Princess Victim.”   The color scheme matters.  For instance, pink as the background represents a false notion of female equality.   The key to understanding the falseness of equality is evident with the blueish color of the Princess.  Specifically, she is blue because the male-dominant sees her as an object of desire or as a “piece of meat” and not as an equal human being.

A couple of neat “did you notice” include the mushroom, which is a “Death cap” ‘shroom.  On one level it is an obvious centerpiece (pun intended) to represent male masculinity– except, it’s not.

Sure, it looks like a penis, but as the labeling shows– it is a mere fungus that grows randomly across the globe, it is 100% natural.  So, in a way,  it is a test.  If the viewer automatically sees a dude-dong, then, that supports the notion that sexualization is effectively embedded by the surrounding world.

However, the fact the mushroom looks like a man-dick, well, the multiple labels point out correctly, once again, it is only a mere natural fungus.  Thus, there is some leeway depending on viewer interpretation.   Also, the inclusion of the text messages is intentionally meant to muddy the mushroom’s message– like real-life, the scene is meant to be confusing.

However, the overall statement made, just by the death cap, is that a man-dominance “across the globe” is commonly viewed as being “100% natural.”

Another exciting “did you know” centers on Princess Victim. 

If one looks closely at her face, she may seem familiar.   The Princess is none other than Adult Hall of Famer, Lois Ayres.   The reasons for her selection are both complicated and straightforward.  First, back in my day, porn was hard to come by.  Therefore, most of the porn of my youth was a big deal, a grand discovery, and also remains easy to remember as it remains nostalgically embedded within my mind.

Among my favorite accidental youth discoveries was “The Devil in Miss Jones 3 and 4” starring– that’s right, the one and only, Lois Ayres.   Part 4 picks up where Part 3 ends– with the audience stuck in a moment of heightened drama.  Lois’ character is trapped in a room of hell, faces a difficult decision.

She and her guide can only escape the room, then perhaps hell itself, if (and only if) someone takes care of the straightforward demand of the room’s “boss.”   A lying down costumed fellow continues to repeat, time and again, one simple phrase, “Suck me” (the title was sure to include this phrase).

Lois and her guide engage in a brief exchange, that sometimes appears to get heated.   Eventually, a cooler head (also, pun intended) will help Lois make her choice, even if it was an extremely “hard” one.    She proceeds to go about her business in expert fashion, meets the boss’ requirement, and long story short ends up earning her way out of hell.

In some ways, one can see a comparison between Lois’ character and her life.   In reality, Lois Ayres would discover herself trapped in her own hell, as she would end up developing a drug problem.

To escape her personal Hades, she would decide to quit the porn industry.

A few later, after achieving sobriety, she would return, only to discover that the business she once loved and saw as being like her family had changed.   She would quickly realize the industry was not to her liking any longer; she would make another exit– this time a permanent one.

Although her whereabouts are unconfirmed, it is believed that she is well and according to some “sources” she now works in the animal care industry.

PS, yours truly tracked down what appears to be the real-life Lois Ayres and sent her a message.  Will include appropriate updates (if she ever responds)

Suck me Beautiful Recap

What lessons have been learned?  Yours truly is a weirdo?  Possibly.

But the most essential lesson remains that the creator and viewer(s) are likely to see some similarity but from different perspectives and depth.   The sexualization and the victimization might appear obvious, but as explained, yours truly tried to encompass nostalgia from the real experiences of my youth.

Although it must be noted, yours truly was molded by the world around me to buy into seeing women as sexual objects, to which those memories still remain.  Over time, my previous simplified views have modified as it became more evident to me that the world may have taught a young me one thing, but time and life experience would provide additional lessons.  The greatest lesson, as I see it, is my view of Lois Ayres.   Initially, yours truly would see Ms. Ayres as a porn chick, but over the years, I come to view her as a real-life human being with a compelling life story.

With great sincerity, as the creator of Suck Me Beautiful, I hope that the work encourages thinking, reflection, and if necessary, personal modification of one’s views and behavior.

As always, any and all feedback, views, and interest remain appreciated and welcomed.

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