No reason to blah blah blah any solutions; it’s pointless.
The truth is, I am heartbroken, no words will matter, it never did, and never will.
In a mere day, many people find themselves suffering as their lives will no longer be the same. They have now been added to the neverending growing permanently afflicted list.
As for the thoughts & prayers bullshit, it is just that–bullshit. It’s attempted self-exoneration to separate oneself from not doing jack shit, I get it.
By the way, that’s the truth. Make all the excuses you want, that’s fine, but we’re a most horrendous people. I get that; I own it.
However, rest assured that the scar of living with the knowledge of family and friends having their fucking brains blown out, well, you never get over it. That level of pain never fades, not only does such violence claim the victims’ lives it also steals from the soul of the survivors. Such horrible brutality. It is not a tragedy; such destruction is unworthy of that label, this is pure cruel savagery.
I know, I live it every day of my life. It sucks. In 100% truth, I would not wish such torture on my worst enemy.
The saddest part, as a result of such grief, I’m a hardened man. In fact, nowadays, the only gun deaths that manage to bother me are those of young adults and children. Perhaps, out of guilt, but it seems as if American adults (myself included) are deserving of whatever torturous end that befalls us–as our reward, a real karmic justice.
The responsibility of the strong is to ensure the safety of the weak, the marginalized, and the innocent. The youth deserve better. Collectively, we fail them–each and every day.
With that said, I still can never imagine the level of pain a parent endures losing their child in such a terrible but all too commonplace savage habit. Regardless–today, tomorrow, blah blah blah–nothing will change. By Monday the endless circle jerk debate will be over, nothing will be done, just like every other time. However, the pain, suffering, and affliction will remain fresh for the families, friends, students of the injured, the killed, and the often forgotten, overlooked victims–the invisible mental damage of those that survived the trauma.
Few things fuck up your life as youth-based trauma. It could be argued, most of what is “wrong” with people originates from their adolescence and young adulthood.
Oh, there will be a next time, a time after, and countless times after that, over and over and over and over. Own the truth, it’s just how America is–and will always be; it’s who we are, it’s our standard fare.
This is us–don’t kid yourself otherwise, THIS IS US.
One suggestion to the “thoughts & prayers” crowd–first–once again, you failed. Therefore, I suggest you start “thinking” and “praying” a little harder–because, so far, your average is pitiful, wretched, and pathetic.
If that is the solution, it needs to be held accountable and called out–because it is not working–nothing but a total bullshit prevention strategy.
Another thing, a personal tip: when talking to the family or friends close to someone that died by having their brains blown out (whether it be murder or self-inflicted)–there’s nothing you can say that will be of any real benefit or help. Even if you “know how it feels”–you don’t. Relax, that’s just the way reality goes.
This writing has been the “most real” thing I have ever written. It likely sucks, but the emotion is honest and sincere. Yet, all the energy, all the words, sincerity, and honesty–still mean and amount to nothing.
In full disclosure, in real life, I don’t tell anybody most of the shit that I’ve had to live through, it doesn’t do any good. Besides, that’s what counseling, therapists, and shrinks are for–TRUTH.
FYI, that’s not an attempt to persuade anyone of anything, wouldn’t matter anyway. This is me unloading my conscience, in the hope that maybe someone else might realize they are not alone.
PS, NO! I don’t want to talk about it and sure as shit ain’t looking for or wanting sympathy. Frankly, I disdain both, especially the feeling sorry thing–don’t.
Save your energy, just in case; you need it yourself.
This is a not a political statement, but what does it say about a society that saving children from being shot is a source of political division? Go on, I’ll wait. Children not being shot should be an area in which the “smartest” and “best” ideas win out.
To the solution is to “rub more guns on it” crowd–no. That defense is weak, vague and not working. So, if you’re going to claim that, in fairness, give us a number. What is the magic number of guns America needs to make children safe?
Hell, can we at least call a truce on children while maintaining the status quo on allowing adults to cap one another to their heart’s content? At least give the kids a chance to grow up to prove themselves of being asshole adults worthy of having bullets fired into ’em. That’s all I’m asking.